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Has a change caused you to see your world differently? I was recently sharing with some old friends from high school at our once a year gathering. We used to meet every Wednesday evening for many years and everyone would all talk at the same time as they were right now. I can recall going home with such headaches stymied as to why we all talk at once? It seemed that my throat was hoarse for days after a Wednesday night club. In those days open conversation of private thoughts or happenings were not shared to our own detriment. I recall sitting alone with one of them and suddenly felt this woman was pregnant, I turned and stated to her: “You’re pregnant!” HA! She told me to mind my own business! I had the mentality that woman cleave together or lose themselves, which of course is true for most of us. How to have friends and mind my own business is not real to me, it is a smothering to my soul and that I will not do. I did not share again unless asked so only one slip up is pretty good for a Gemini!
I felt such gratitude for their acceptance of me from the winter of 1954 right on through till now. There seemed to be an unspoken caring that repeatedly put me into a small quiet space of shyness and at the same time emotional paralysis from childhood when no one talked at all!
I recall being a bridesmaid for one woman whom I absolutely looked up to and felt so privileged to be her friend. Immediately after the wedding plans began I went through
An unholy small period of tremendous jealously. I felt such shame that I withdrew being a helpful bridesmaid and the bride obviously did not want to confront nor did I feel confident to speak to her, a tragedy to me, to let her down at a very special time in her life. I did tell my now husband, and pushed and pushed myself to never, ever allow this to take me over again.
However I processed this with my inner nagging it worked, that was the last time and good riddance to it!
I sat and looked at each one of them in wonder, obviously we are not young, and most of us still work even with serious health demands. It then occurred to me that I really don’t know very much about any of them with the talking into the air standard around the room Willy – nilly and I became agitated. I said to myself: “What the hell Pat, will they get angry if I nail them?" Who cares! I banged my knife on a small plate and made my intentions known. I simply asked would one person at a time talk and share about themselves. I had my turn last and told them I felt myself living my seventy-second year capable of being joyful most of the time, so joyful that I get enthused to the point of reminding myself to slow down. This joy is a boodle of gratefulness that is an endless feast for my heart.
I just stopped writing to walk to the mail box with envelops to go out when strange multiple creaking sounds came into my direction; I looked up and felt all aglow as two lovely huge swans flew low over my head, their metaphor? Grace of course, pure grace!
I am reapplying to Cape Cod Community Collage hopefully to start teaching again. I dug out my resume which lists all I have learned, taught and created in this life so far. I was hoping by reading it all I would successfully block the fear that I might not get the appointment, good heavens! How silly is that? If they won’t hire me it must be that I will do this elsewhere, the words then came: THE TIME IS NOW!
I thank the angels and a long dream meeting with Shirley MacLaine recently, while she yelled and yelled at me these words: “YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! She all but kicked me up the butt which I sorely needed. I first connected with her when I was attending a week-end workshop in 1978. The focus was the study of the Will. In one section we were guided in meditation, to ask ourselves this question: “Who is your hero?” I immediately saw the name of Shirley MacLaine and then started to berate myself instantly by saying: “What? You want to be a movie star?” HAHAHA…… I had previously read her first book, “Out on a Limb” and related to her need for truth as I have for many years. I knew she put her career in jeopardy no doubt, as I had gone forward into this work.
The next morning after this petite woman yelled at me I was happy to have the dream connection, grateful to the angels, guides, Universal love and mind, and all our leaders who have shown us the way to live in our lives in complete authority of ourselves and in complete freedom.
I think of Nana Mouskouri singing “Love Changes Everything” by Lloyd Webber, the melody and words open the heart for me - forever. I always used music for the retreats I have run in years gone by. In the movie and stage production of “Mama Mia!” you hear the song “I Have A Dream” by Anderson. Nana is called the “White Rose of Athens” and when she sings that music, life falls into place, my spirit is reawakened and I am restored, life as it is continues in grace.
I think I am preaching too much! I am however asking for stories from you that have created tremendous change inside of your heart to the point that you now see your world and yourself differently. I have talked to many individuals over the years that have kept their intuitive/spiritual experiences in the closet, yet admitted that their whole attitude turned around in their life after. I would like to put these stories in their own chapters (with your permission) into my book for inspiration to others.
We are beyond having to keep secrets; this sharing is not only spirit lifting but heart warming for us all. Thank you all for your kindness regarding my dogs passing, the emails and kind words gave me warmth and connections to all pet owners, what a treasure.
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Pat is listed on Bob Olson's web resource for discovering gifted psychic mediums. Bob is a psychic medium researcher, author, and advocate. He is the editor of OfSpirit Magazine, author of "Win The Battle", co-author of "Understanding Spirit", and "Understanding Yourself." You can read about his reading with Pat at BestPsychicMedium.com.
I love what you wrote and am so grateful your going to teach again. The world is ready for it now, I'm sure.
I have been healing rapidly again since I had a car accident Dec 2. I got a message saying this is the begining of my new life and so I have been receiving spiritual people into my life that have been helping me heal. One person is a hypnotherapist and she has taken me on a journey to a past life and I have experienced more awareness. I'm getting to a place where I can see what's 'BEHIND' things, feelings, ideas. There is a 'lake of awareness' that we have not seen in centuries there. A Dr Kevin Brien from Washington College gave me the words 'lake of awareness'. I'm still in MD and doing better then before. I tend to still isolate and yet healing is always happening. Looking towards a new way of making money to survive and yet not quite seeing it yet.
I'm so grateful for the many times you helped me to heal and helped me gain my freedom from surpresion. I send you deep abiding love, and wish for you a wondereous journey as a teacher.
Lovingly
Thia
(Cynthia)